“Lipstick represents strength and the ability to move forward. Every time a woman applies it, she tells herself, “I’ve got this.” – Sheryl Kurland

Find Your Fabulosity: How Lipstick Helps Abuse Survivors Heal

By Cheryl Gushue

The stats in the US tell us that one in four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime. The truth is, the real number is higher because so many cases go unreported.

Lipstick for domestic abuse survivors is the entire mission of Find Your Fabulosity, a Florida nonprofit founded by Sheryl Kurland in August 2016. The organization collects new lipsticks and ships them free to more than 300 women’s domestic violence shelters across all 50 U.S. states. To a survivor, one lipstick means identity, hope, and healing.

As a professional makeup artist, when lipstick is involved, it catches my attention. My goal in the chair has always been the same: to help women feel confident. When you look your best, you feel your best. Sheryl Kurland took that simple truth and built a national movement around it.

In ten years, Find Your Fabulosity has distributed more than 120,000 new lipsticks. It runs on a team of about 40 volunteers from the Orlando area. Sheryl calls them “women with big hearts helping women with broken hearts.”

How did Find Your Fabulosity start?

It started with her mother’s advice. “Sheryl, if you’re having a bad day, just go put on a little lipstick.” Ten years ago, Sheryl was volunteering at her local women’s domestic violence shelter, SafeHouse of Seminole in Sanford, Florida. She led relationship workshops for the residents. Six women would sit around a conference room table. Sheryl saw how raw, empty, and stripped of life they were.

“I thought to myself, how can I truly help these women feel like women again beyond the workshops?” she says. She went to a local store and bought about 25 lipsticks. At the end of her next workshop, she put the plastic bag on the table and told everyone to pick a colour.

“I couldn’t believe what happened next,” Sheryl says. “It was like I opened the window and all the pain just flew out and in came the sunshine.” The women helped each other choose shades. They laughed. The conversation about abuse stopped. Sheryl ran workshops every two weeks, and the same reaction happened every time. “I have a higher calling,” she remembers thinking. “I’ve got to turn this into something bigger.”

Find Your Fabulosity was born.

Sheryl’s own credentials run deep. She became a Certified Domestic Violence Advocate through the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence in 2015. In 2023, Thrive Causemetics named a Berry Brown shade “Sheryl” in her honour as part of its Impact FULL lipstick launch. In October 2025, the Women’s Executive Council of Orlando gave her its Heart of Service award.

Why does lipstick matter to a domestic violence survivor?

For most women, lipstick is a staple in the makeup bag. For a survivor, it carries far more weight. “It means I have an identity and there’s hope and healing for me,” Sheryl says. She describes the moment a woman puts on that first glide of colour and looks in the mirror. “She looks at herself and she goes, ‘I’m in there.’ I can rebuild my life. I was there once before, and I’m going to do it again.”

The effect lasts. During COVID-19, women told Sheryl they kept wearing lipstick under their masks. Survivors have written to her to say the lipstick made them feel beautiful again, something they did not know they still had. “Lipstick represents strength and the ability to move forward. Every time she applies it, she tells herself, “I’ve got this.”

Domestic violence takes many forms

Sheryl cites the statistic that one in four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime. She believes the real number is higher because so many cases go unreported.

Abuse falls into four main categories:

Physical abuse
Emotional abuse
Financial abuse
Sexual abuse

“Each one by itself is abuse,” Sheryl says. Many women experience several at once. It rarely arrives all at once. It seeps in gradually, until a woman wakes up caught in what Sheryl calls a cobweb she cannot get out of. I have heard it described as death by a thousand cuts. Sheryl agrees. “Some are visible, and some are invisible.”

The invisible cuts, emotional and financial, can be just as devastating. They are also harder to name. “When you see bruises and cuts and broken bones, that’s the evidence right there,” Sheryl says. “With the emotional side, a woman tends to doubt herself. Is this really happening? Am I being too sensitive? Oh, it was only one time. He said he’ll never do it again.” Emotional damage can run deep and take years to recover from.

Abuse also crosses every stereotype. “It could be the person sitting right next to you,” Sheryl says. Abusers are often skilled at deceiving everyone around them. When a woman finally speaks up, friends are shocked. They thought she had the perfect relationship.

Domestic violence isn’t limited by socioeconomics. It happens in high-income households as often as it does in low-income ones, and financial status is never a marker of safety.

Find Your Fabulosity has distributed more than 120,000 new lipsticks. It runs on a team of about 40 volunteers from the Orlando area. Sheryl calls them “women with big hearts helping women with broken hearts.”

Why do domestic violence victims struggle to leave?

On average, a woman returns to her abuser seven times before leaving for good.

Sheryl hears the same question often. Why didn’t she just walk out the front door? Her answer is simple. “She’s a smart lady. Don’t you think she would have?”

The barriers are real, and they stack up. Shame, embarrassment and fear keep many women from reporting. The court system can retraumatize survivors, who often must face their abuser in person. Safe housing is scarce, and even after police arrive, many women have nowhere else to go. Financially, she can’t support herself and her children. She has no savings or job. Children complicate the decision, since many mothers hesitate to separate them from their father. Trauma compromises clear thinking, safety planning, and decision-making.

Shelters provide advocates who help each woman build a safety plan. Sheryl praises their work and notes they are spread thin with limited resources.

The damage also crosses generations. Children raised with abuse often promise themselves they will never repeat it. Without another model, the brain falls back on what it knows. “It is a lifelong trauma,” Sheryl says. “It requires a lot of healing.”

Am I being abused? A private checklist brings clarity

The Find Your Fabulosity website offers a free downloadable checklist called “Am I Being Abused?” It lists 60 signs of an abusive relationship. It is completely private. You download it and fill it out yourself. Nothing is submitted online. “If you check one thing, that’s a red flag,” Sheryl says. The more boxes you check, the clearer the picture.

Many women have told Sheryl they did not know they were being abused. Some grew up with abuse at home and never saw what healthy looks like. Others experience abuse in cycles, which makes it easy to dismiss. The checklist also works for friends and family. You can share it with someone you are worried about.

Find it at findyourfabulosity.org under Resources.

What should you do if you think you are being abused?

Sheryl’s advice follows three clear steps:

Download the “Am I Being Abused?” checklist and work through it privately.
Contact a local domestic violence shelter or support organization in your area.
Tell trusted friends and family that you need help.

“You’ve got to be verbal about it and ask for help,” she says. “People have giving hearts if they know what is needed. But they can’t do anything if you’re continuing to cover up.”

For women still living in an abusive home, Find Your Fabulosity offers free Get Help Gift Bags, ordered through its website. Each bag holds small encouraging trinkets and information cards on how to take action. Friends and family often order them for someone they love.

Sheryl also refers women who contact her directly to the National Domestic Violence Hotline and, where she can, to local shelters. “I won’t close the door on somebody who needs help,” she says.

Where to get help now in the US:

In immediate danger: call 911.
United States: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1.800.799.7233 (SAFE), text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Free, confidential, and available 24/7.
Ontario: Assaulted Women’s Helpline, 1.866.863.0511 toll free, 416.863.0511 in the GTA, or #SAFE (#7233) on Bell, Rogers, Fido, or Telus mobile phones. Free and available 24/7.
French language support in Ontario: Fem’aide, 1.877.336.2433.

If someone may be monitoring your phone or computer, call instead of searching online, and clear your browser history after visiting support websites. Consider putting the most important number in your phone under a family member’s name for a quick speed dial.

How can the beauty industry donate lipstick to domestic violence survivors?

Every shipment of 1,250 lipsticks needs to be replaced. Sheryl spends her days making sure the supply never runs dry. Two brands support Find Your Fabulosity consistently: Thrive Causemetics and Defiance Beauty. Over the years, other companies have sent 500 to 1,000 units at a time. Still, about 50% of every lipstick donated comes from individuals. Clubs, professional groups, and businesses run collection drives. One tire company held a full fundraiser.

“One is going to make a difference in some woman’s life,” Sheryl tells donors who worry a single lipstick is too small.

Here is how beauty professionals can help:

Donate new, unused lipsticks. Opened or used products cannot be accepted.
Run a lipstick drive in your salon, spa, or studio. Clients can add one to their service.
Brands can donate stock in bulk. Shipments of 500 or more make an immediate impact.
Donate money to cover lipstick purchases and shipping. Find Your Fabulosity accepts all major credit cards.
Share the “Am I Being Abused?” checklist with clients who need it.

Salon and makeup professionals already sit at the front line of compassion. Clients tell us everything in the chair. We are often the first people to make a woman feel better about herself. This is a natural cause for our industry to stand behind.

Donation details are at findyourfabulosity.org/donate.

Women with big hearts helping domestic violence survivors

Sheryl does not see herself as an angel. “I just feel like it’s what I’m supposed to do,” she says. Her 40 volunteers are, in her words, the engine of Find Your Fabulosity. She plans to keep going “till the very last lipstick on earth.”

Her final advice is the same words her mother gave her. Always put on a little lipstick. It sets the day in the direction you want it to go.

One lipstick. One woman. One new beginning.

FAQ

What is Find Your Fabulosity?

Find Your Fabulosity is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit founded by Sheryl Kurland in August 2016 in Longwood, Florida. It collects new lipsticks and donates them free to more than 300 women’s domestic violence shelters across all 50 U.S. states. The organization has distributed more than 120,000 lipsticks and runs entirely on volunteers.

How does Find Your Fabulosity get lipstick to shelters?

Find Your Fabulosity ships on a rotating schedule, sending 1,250 lipsticks to 50 different shelters with each mailing. Shelters then distribute the lipsticks directly to the women in their care. The organization is based in Longwood, Florida, where it was founded in August 2016.

Who packs and ships the donations?

About 40 local volunteers sort, pack, and ship every mailing. Find Your Fabulosity runs entirely on volunteer power, with no paid staff.

How does a shelter start receiving lipsticks?

Any women’s domestic violence shelter in the United States can register with Find Your Fabulosity free of charge to begin receiving shipments.

Why give lipstick to domestic violence survivors?

Lipstick gives a survivor a sense of identity, hope, and self worth after abuse has stripped those away. Founder Sheryl Kurland says a new lipstick tells a woman there is hope and healing for her. Many survivors describe looking in the mirror after applying it and recognizing themselves again.

How do I donate lipstick to Find Your Fabulosity?

Donate new, never used lipsticks or make a monetary donation through findyourfabulosity.org/donate. Monetary gifts help purchase and ship lipsticks, and all major credit cards are accepted. Individuals, clubs, salons, and businesses can also run lipstick collection drives.

Which beauty brands support Find Your Fabulosity?

Thrive Causemetics and Defiance Beauty donate lipsticks to Find Your Fabulosity consistently. In 2023, Thrive Causemetics named a Berry Brown shade “Sheryl” in founder Sheryl Kurland’s honour. Other brands have donated 500 to 1,000 lipsticks at a time.

How many lipsticks does Find Your Fabulosity ship at once?

Each mailing sends 1,250 lipsticks to 50 different shelters. Find Your Fabulosity rotates shipments throughout the year to reach more than 300 shelters. About 40 volunteers sort, pack, and ship every order.

What is the “Am I Being Abused?” checklist?

It is a free, private, downloadable checklist on findyourfabulosity.org that lists about 60 signs of an abusive relationship. You complete it on your own, with nothing submitted online. Checking even one item is a red flag worth taking seriously.

What are the four types of domestic abuse?

The four main types are physical, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse. Each one on its own counts as abuse, and many women experience several at once. Emotional and financial abuse are often the hardest to identify because they leave no visible evidence.

Where can I get help for domestic abuse in the U.S. or Ontario?

In the United States, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233 or text START to 88788, available 24/7.

In Ontario, Canada, call the Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 1.866.863.0511 or #SAFE (#7233) from a Bell, Rogers, Fido, or Telus mobile phone. In immediate danger, call 911.

MORE RESOURCES IN THE USA:

“Am I Being Abused?” Checklist, free to download on the Find Your Fabulosity website: https://www.findyourfabulosity.org/am-i-being-abused93d052b5

Facebook closed group: Domestic Violence Awareness and Support Group (27.4K members): https://www.facebook.com/groups/211006261117233

Facebook closed group: Domestic Violence Survivors (89.8K members): https://www.facebook.com/groups/438848360709992/

U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Domestic Violence Shelters list in U.S.: https://www.domesticshelters.org

RAINN: https://rainn.org (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)

Annabel’s Closet: Household items and furnishings for families who are relocating to escape domestic abuse. www.annabelscloset.org